To Save Ourselves
by ChchchCHERRYBOMB1
Summary: Raven and Gar left the team 3 years ago to pursue a new life together. But when Raven's past comes back to haunt her, Garfield will do anything to protect her. Problem is, will it be enough? (Garfield/Raven) I'm not sure if i'll do lemon, but if you review and say you'd like to see me try, i'll try it. Multi-chapter :)
1. Chapter 1

**I'll make this snappy, cause I know you don't really want to read it, but this is my very first fanfic. I'm nervous, so be a bit gentle? I really hope you like it anyway **

'_Characters are not mine, sadly. All rights belong to…whoever they belong do. They're not mine, so don't sue me please'_

Chapter 1: Raven

It coils around me, this darkness. I know it well. I was built of this darkness. I know the familiarity of ice picks knawing inside me, the way the wild claws out of me, unsatisfied of the marks it left behind. How I can't control it, how suddenly its enflamed me, engulfed me in its wicked. The way it IS me, how I am it, how we are the same of the same. One. It has seeked me out and has claimed me.

_Raven..._

It calls me? Why must it do this? Finally coming for me, dragging me down, down towards its darkness. I have stood against you, but you always come back. You will never have enough, never be gone. You are always there, always taking me back. You are the death of me.

_RAVEN..._

I am not naive. You will give me a slow, painful death. To give me what I deserve, for kidding myself into thinking myself rid of you. I won't die till you tire of me.

"Raven!"

Garfield. No, _please_, Garfield you mustn't be in this pit of mine. You are the good to this dark, you mustn't be here! I _will not_ let it get you I-

"Raven! Please, snap out of it!"

Green eyes. Green eyes? A soft bed. Sheets. These do not belong here.

Like a swift kick, like the air being pulled out of me and breathed back in. The pit, the dark, the monster clawing me, all gone. Now, all that's around me is a soft white hue. A bedroom's hue, smelling of incense and animal.

The weight of it all crushes me. I am alive. The demons inside of me have let me go on. I am most grateful. But I know better, and the dark has sent a clear message: not today, but soon.

Garfield. He is staring intently at me, into my eyes. I, in turn, look at him. He is beaded with sweat, a visible panic and ... fear in his eyes. _I_ did that. How could he possibly love a monster like me? He tries to say something, yet nothing audible comes out. I can't bear it.

I'm not sure what happens first, the tears leaking down my face, or Garfield taking me in a hug. I'm in the crook of his neck now, taking in the sweet smell. We sit there, unable to speak yet. We hold each other, glad to be in safe and sound in the other's arms. We do nothing but this for a long while.

He has the heart to be the one to break it, a fact that makes me love him more. His voice is steady, controlled. Relived a bit too.

"Raven, that's the third time this week. Your-your okay?"

"Yes", I say, because now it is true.

He lets out a breathe I fear he has been holding for quite some time.

"Okay," he says "Okay." He then moves me onto his lap, making me look at him. He holds my face, and strokes my cheek.

"Raven, what's happening? What's going on with you? "

I'm not sure the sound that escapes me. A cross between a sob and a hiss perhaps. "I'm not certain at all, Garfield. I-I don't know."

He holds me again then. He rumbles against my earlobe saying, "You're alright now though. That's all I need to know."

"Garfield I-"

"Shh. I just...I need to hold you, I can't think about what almost happened, I need to just..."

"Okay." I say, because I know exactly what he means. And we sit there, saying nothing, but being thankful to be alive. And that's how this begins again, this endless story and cycle of mine, with Garfield Logan holding me, and me praying to whoever may listen to please. Please.

Not Trigon.

***Okeydokey! Did you like it? Review please, and comments questions are appreciated! Bad criticism? That's A-Okay with me; I'm planning on being an author as a full time profession, and need all the help I can get. And also, any ideas for anymore fluff (cause I'm planning on essentially writing fluff, as writing fluff is fun) for any other pairing, etc. I will write non-fluff as well, but ah, another day perhaps. Up next: the lovable Garfield Logan's POV.***


	2. Chapter 2

**I just love these two so much, don't you? Anyway, someone commented on my very first story the other day, and I felt such joy someone actually read it I just had to write this right away. It's Gar's POV, and I hope you enjoy **

_Disclaimer: Again, the characters aren't mine. Made for fun not prophet._

Chapter 2: Garfield

The first time it happened, I was so freaked out, I made myself believe it wouldn't happen again and that she was safe. Somehow, even then, my instincts told me that this wouldn't be the end of it. Even then, I knew something was starting. Something big. But I told myself to calm down. I needed to be strong for her, if not for me.

The second time it happened, it surprised me more. I told myself that it wouldn't happen again, and it did. Worse. In fact, it became my mantra for that day in between that it'd all gone away. But all the wishing in the world couldn't help her_. I_ couldn't help her. That was the hardest part.

The third time? I couldn't think strait. My mind started racing with all sorts of reasons why this was happening, or what was going to happen to her afterwards...None of the outcomes made me happy. Or sane again, for that matter.

And it happened exactly the same. Each. Freaking. Time.

We would be sleeping in our bed. My arms that were wrapped around her would get warmer and warmer. Her body would radiate such heat; it was like lying right next to a blazing campfire. She wouldn't wake. And believe me, I'd try everything. I'd shake her violently. I'd scream her name. I was useless. Her body would levitate above the bed, and the sheets would sear off. Flames licked our bedroom walls, as well as her skin, black and wild. Then, the worst of it.

She started screaming.

It was filled with pain. Sorrow. Hate and rage. I couldn't think then. I just wanted her awake, with the pain and badness gone. I shook her, screamed her name for who knows how long. The fire seared my skin, sure, but that didn't matter.

Then she would wake up. Slowly, but frantically at the same time. Her eyes would be filled with black, like ink swirling in a water glass, and she would blink and focus onto me. She cooled down back to a normal Raven temperature. I would be relieved, so relieved, and I would just hold her. She was back, alive, for Christ's sake. Normal.

And every time she'd wake up? She would say one thing before breaking down into uncontrolled tears caused by the fear. One word. My name. _"Garfield." _

I don't understand what happens to her. I don't really want to. But I have to; I need some sort of hold of how to deal with this. Raven's past has always scared me. Made me want to hold tighter. I could see it in her eyes, whenever she told me about it, how much effect it has. It _still_ has. She'll never get away from it, and she knows that. And she's so...brave about it. But deep down? She's crazed. She wants a new life. I've given her that...but it's still not enough. I'm not sure it will ever be enough.

It's been five years. Five years, and it's starting again. Five years since we left the team, and gave up the old life. It was hard, but she wanted it, so I left too. She is so guilt ridden of it all, of causing the team turmoil and pain, all because of her. I told her that was ridiculous; I told her that that wasn't fair. She wouldn't listen. Because, well...because she's Raven.

I know she just wants it all gone. I thought we were safe from it...I became naive. I failed her.

And now? Now it's time to go back. To Titans Tower. I needed to have a little talk with Nightwing about the girl I love.

***Oh Gar, I just really love you. His POV is so fun and interesting to write. Review please you wonderful people, and say which POV you prefer, because I'm not sure for the next chapter. I'll be doing other stories too ,soon, so maybe check those out? Anyway, thanks for reading!***


	3. Chapter 3

**For the few that actually read my story, I'm sorry! Been moving to another apartment and everything's been more than hectic. Finally wrote this short bit and sure it's short but I like it. The chapter after this should be longer. Anyway, here it is! Hope you enjoy.**

_Not mine, not mine, not mine!_

Chapter 3: Garfield 

Raven never knew that I had been going over to Titans Tower regularly ever since we left. I couldn't tell her that I hated the fact that we left the life behind. But between her and the life? She'll always win; I'd rather be with her. I just—it's an itch I can't scratch. That's all. And whenever I brought up the team, or the old days, I could see it in her eyes: the guilt. Even a little bit of want, but mostly guilt. And even though she never said it, her eyes did. I could read her like a book.

I'd tell her I would go out to the country side a while away, maybe every few days or so. She'd understand, me, an animal being caged in a small apartment…well it sure didn't suit me. So I'd be away for a day. _That's_ when I'd go to Titans Tower, and be Changeling again. I was still a mentor after all, I couldn't just ignore that.

The truth, if I'm honest, is I'm scared. I'm a superhero, I can deal with _anything_. Nothing scares me, and I don't need anyone's help. But this time it's different. This time it's Raven and I don't know what the hell to do. She's my world, and she falling away, and I need to stop it. I need help.

I find my friend Dick Grayson where he always is: the training room. I don't think he's gone a day without working out. I don't knock or anything, I just come right in.

"Nightwing." I say. I'm only half surprised by my voice. It sounds like I've been through Hell, but then again I have.

He stops punching the foam dummy for a second. He looks at me and says, "Gar? You…okay?"

No, I say, because I'm not. "We need to talk. It's Raven."

***Told you its short. Now that I can write again, I should upload every week or so. You know, hopefully *******


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